


First year

by MoonStar1220



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dorms, Future Fic, Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9792152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonStar1220/pseuds/MoonStar1220
Summary: The Prequal of my "Are we---?" fic, but can stand alone too.Natsume and Tanuma have decided to share a dorm as they study at Ise University.A collection of drabbles of their first year living together.





	1. First Night

They stood in the doorway looking into the room. There was a bunkbed and two small desks visible from their position. Prior knowledge told them that there was at least a tv, low table, and dressers across from the bunk bed, the kitchen was the open door frame, and the toilet and laundry were behind the closed door.

“A bit smaller than I thought it’d be.” Tanuma spoke up, finally breaking the silence and invisible wall before them.

Natsume stepped forward and took off his shoes. “I think we can manage it though. Besides, we did want the cheapest dorm together.” He reasoned. “I don’t think we’ll get in each other’s way too often with you at the shrines and me at the library.”

Tanuma frowned a bit before following Natsume. “That’s not what I was implying.”

“I know.”

It had been three years since they first met and now they would be living together while attending the same college in Ise. Natsume was intending to study historical literature for what reason Tanuma didn’t know. Tanuma was studying to become a Shinto priest. 

“It’s still small.” Tanuma grumbled.

Natsume laughed. “It’ll be fine. I’ve lived in smaller.” Tanuma refused to frown, having promised himself a while ago not to look upset when hearing about Natsume’s past. While he hated hearing how Natsume was treated as a kid he was happy to know that Natsume trusted him with even the smallest truths he allowed out. 

He watched as Natsume claimed the desk closest to the bed. Tanuma decided to check out the kitchen. An empty fridge and pantry told him they’d need to go out for an immediate food run. After an hour of unpacking their things and a short rest they left to explore the neighborhood and grocery shop. It was as they were checking out that they discovered an immediate problem. The native accent in Ise was so thick that they both had trouble understanding the cashier. If it wasn’t for the digital screen telling them how much they needed to pay there might have been trouble. On the way back Tanuma kept his ears open to passing conversations. 

Back at the dorm they’d be calling home for the next four years Natsume rested on the bottom bunk, his claimed bed, while Tanuma made dinner. Once done, he called for Natsume but didn’t hear any reply. Tanuma went to the bunk and saw Natsume sleeping away. A hopeless smile grew on Tanuma’s face. Natsume looked so relaxed as if Ponta was here. Normally whenever Tanuma caught Natsume sleeping the blond still kept a strained expression. That had changed recently once their plans for Ise were set. Tanuma didn’t quite know what had changed, but Natsume was a lot more relaxed these last few months.

“Natsume. Wake up. Hey, dinner’s ready.” Tanuma hesitated to shake Natsume’s shoulder, but did so anyway. As expected, there was a second of fear when Natsume opened his eyes. That was something that would probably never go away and Tanuma knew that. The fear was quickly replaced with confusion and then realization.

“S-sorry. I guess the trip wore me out.”

Tanuma gave a comforting smile. Natsume had probably never moved without being on pins and needles. “It’s fine.” He backed off to grab their food. “I apologize beforehand if it’s not as good as Fujiwara-san’s.”

“I’m sure I’ll get used to it.” Tanuma could hear the smirk on Natsume’s face and it brought a chuckle out of him as he returned with the food. Natsume was the first to start eating as Tanuma turned on the news. “It’s not the same as Touko-san’s, but it’s still good.”

Tanuma laughed. “Then I’ll take it as a compliment.”


	2. Truth

Tanuma was working on his homework as his desk when he heard the door open then close. He opened his mouth to greet his roommate, but stopped when he heard labored breathing. Instead, he turned around and saw Natsume fall to his hands and knees. He ignored the sound of his chair crashing down as he rushed to Natsume’s side. “Natsume?! Are you okay?” Tanuma’s eyes quickly scanned the other male before he used his hands to pull Natsume’s head up and look for any wounds. 

Natsume batted Tanuma’s hands away. “I’m not hurt.” He gasped out. Tanuma decided to believe his friend and waited. “I never thought they’d still be sear--” Natsume cut himself off and a silence fell.

“Natsume.” Tanuma started his tone showing not only his concern but his unhappiness. “I’ve always wondered why ayakashi went after you so much. Do you… Do you have something they want?”

Natsume visibly flinched and the silence that followed was strained. It was as if Natsume was waiting for Tanuma to drop the subject as usual. Tanuma didn’t want to drop it. Not this time. He had allowed it during their high school years, but they were closer now. He knew Natsume didn’t want him to know about the world of ayakashi, the world that Natsume could see, but he wanted to know this. “It’s… complicated.” Tanuma didn’t move. “I don’t have it anymore, but… I guess news hasn’t reached here yet.”

Tanuma sighed. “Natsume. I don’t want to pressure you, but I’m your friend and we live together now. I… I want you to be able to trust me.”

The blond’s head shot up and panic was settled in his golden eyes. “I do trust you! It’s just…”

“Complicated. I know.” Tanuma hated how he sounded so bitter, but he was worried and scared for Natsume. He sighed, giving in. Natsume had at least told him a little bit so he shouldn’t push anymore. Tanuma went to stand up, but stopped when he felt his arm being grabbed. “... it’s related to my grandmother…”

“You don’t need to--”

“I want to.” Natsume interrupted. “You’ve always tried to let me tell you things at my pace and I’m thankful for that. You’ve never pressured me. I want you to know. You deserve to know this after all the times you’ve covered for me. You deserve to know why.” 

Tanuma could hear the desperation. He must have struck a chord in Natsume to have him panicking so much. “Okay. Let me at least get you some water though. Also... perhaps we should talk somewhere other than the genkan.” He chuckled to try to ease the atmosphere. Natsume smiled at him before nodding.

After Natsume drank some water he started to explain everything. Reiko-san was a lonely person so she used her high spiritual power to beat up ayakashi and force them to give her their names. Names that gave her power over them. She never used the names for some reason, but it became well coveted. Other ayakashi wanted the collection of names. The ‘Book of Friends’ as it was called. Whoever had the book had the power to summon and control others. However, some ayakashi just wanted their freedom back. That was why Natsume was often tired at school. Returning names took a lot of power. It was his highest priority which is why it took him a while to confirm his plans to follow Tanuma to Ise. Natsume wouldn’t leave until he had returned all the names. The book wasn’t all bad. Natsume didn’t say that, but Tanuma could tell. Natsume had a soft expression as he talked about it. It may have caused trouble and put him in danger, however, Natsume undoubtedly made some ayakashi friends due to it. Ponta probably being one of them. 

“Thank you, Natsume, for finally telling me this. I… always knew that there was something… something you didn’t want to tell me because it would put me in danger. That’s why I never really pushed you. I couldn’t do much to help you, but I needed… wanted to help you as much as I could.”

“You helped more than you can imagine.”

Tanuma smiled. “You said earlier…”

“Ah, yeah. Reiko-san is well known in the yokai world and I apparently smell like her so they often attack me thinking I’m her. I thought that news that the yuujinchou is no more would have gotten out, but I guess Ise is far away even for yokai. Once they find out that it’s no more I shouldn’t be attacked as often.” Tanuma frowned at that. “S-sorry.” He shook his head dismissively. “I… don’t get really attacked too often. Most of the time they’re just bored since not as many people can see them anymore.” A silence fell for a few moments before Natsume spoke again. “Tanuma… do you still want to see yokai?”

He hesitated knowing that this was important question. “Honestly, yes. I know it’s dangerous. I know that, but… I still feel so helpless sometimes when I see you struggling and I can’t help you. Also…” Tanuma paused, trying to figure out how exactly he wanted to say his feelings on the matter. “I see how you talk to your ayakashi friends and… I get jealous or envious or something… They’re really special to you and… I want to know the ayakashi that are so important to you. I mean I know that I can talk to Ponta, but he doesn’t really seem to like me that much.”

“Huh?” Natsume gave a confused look. “Sensei likes you about as much as any other human. Well… Touko-san is an exception.” They both laughed at that. “Thank you, Tanuma, for being honest with me. I don’t really know what I can do to help you though. I can’t really introduce you to them formally.”

Natsume looked nervous. “I don’t… think you have to introduce them to me formally. After all, there’s not much of a point since I can’t see them, but… I’d like to hear about them more. I think that’s why I get so stubborn when you get involved with ayakashi. You say that there’s good ayakashi that won’t harm you, but I don’t hear much about them. The only other information I have about ayakashi is from old stories and scriptures and--”

“Those aren’t completely accurate.” Natsume interrupted. “Alright. I understand. I’ll tell you about them. Although some other time?”

Tanuma nodded and smiled. “Yeah. Take your time. Also rest up. You have a test tomorrow, right?”

The blond sighed. “Yeah, I really need to study.” Tanuma laughed before patting Natsume on the shoulder.


	3. Nightmare

Tanuma woke up groggily. Something was moving. Something was making noise. He didn’t like it. He groaned in protest hoping that whatever it was would stop it. It didn’t. Then he heard a cry that caused him to bolt up. Natsume! Tanuma quickly got down from his top bunk, nearly faceplanting on the floor due to his body still half asleep. He quickly scanned their dorm only to find Natsume asleep on his bed. Although he wasn’t sleeping restfully. Natsume’s expression was wrenched in fear. He tossed and turned, small whimpers escaped him. A nightmare.

“Natsume. Natsume, wake up.” Tanuma cooed trying to wake his friend up as gently as possible. Shaking him awake probably wasn’t the best way to wake him. “Hey, Natsume, it’s okay; you’re okay. Wake up now.” He wiped away the sweat from the blond’s face and pushed his hair back. He continued to call out to Natsume gently. Tanuma saw how tightly Natsume was clenching his bed sheets and pried one of his hands away. His father always held his hand whenever he was sick or having nightmares. One hand held’s Natsume’s while the other petted and soothed blond hair. Soon Natsume quieted. Tanuma smiled believing his methods had stopped Natsume’s nightmare. 

He watched as long lashes slowly opened. “Tanuma…?”

“Hey. You were having a nightmare. Everything is okay. You’re fine.”

“You?”

“I’m fine.” Natsume name a loud exhale of relief before he realized something. Tanuma realized it soon after and pulled away in panic. “Sorry. Dad always did that when I was sick or having nightmares.”

Natsume gave a sleepy smile. “Thank you. Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s no problem. Let me get you some water.” Tanuma quickly fled to the kitchen and got the water. When he came back Natsume was sitting up staring into space. He gently handed Natsume the water who sipped on it slowly, still lost in thought. “What… was the nightmare about?”

The blond shook his head. “Too much. Everything. I’ve had similar nightmares before. Nothing new. Usually I wake up with Sensei suffocating me.” Natsume laughed which caused Tanuma to smile. “Thanks again.”

Tanuma shook his head dismissively. “But you know that you can always talk to me. They say that talking about the fears that cause nightmares help.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He wasn’t going to push. Everyone deserved secrets. Natsume more than others.


	4. Ethereal

Tanuma swept the ground answering the study questions Natsume called out. They did have a few general classes together. Natsume didn’t have anything to do and the weather was too nice to be stuck inside, so he offered to keep Tanuma company while he did his weekend shrine duties. Eventually they both decided to take the chance to study as well. That is until a few figures approached.

“Tanuma-san, who’s this?”

“Arasara-senpai, Furukawa-senpai, good morning. This is Natsume, Takashi, my friend and roommate.” His senpai and Natsume traded greetings. “He’s a historical literature major.”

“Ah, doing some studying at this shrine then?” Arasara asked with a playful tone.

“I’m asking Tanuma study questions for one of our classes together. I haven’t taken in the history of the this shrine yet. Although I’m sure I’ll learn a lot about it in due time.” Tanuma noticed how Natsume’s eyes glanced behind them before looking at the girls again. An ayakashi was around, but Natsume didn’t seem too worried about it. 

Arasara nodded, “yeah, that major often takes day tours of the shrines around here.” Tanuma had a feeling that Natsume would learn things closer to the source. Realization hit him. That was why Natsume was in historical literature. He was going to learn the true history. 

“Something wrong, Tanuma-san?” Furukawa spoke up.

“Ah, not really.” He replied sheepishly. “I just realized something I hadn’t before. Anyways, how are you two’s duties going along?” Tanuma was changing the subject and from the look he received Natsume knew it. The four made some small talk before the girls left to continue their rounds. He looked at Natsume who looked like he was staring off into space. “Do you need to talk to them?”

Natsume shook his head. “Not really, they seem like the patient kind.”

“I don’t mind either.” 

Natsume paused, his focus elsewhere. Tanume assumed that the ayakashi was speaking. “They do seem to need some help. I won’t be far.” Tanume watched as Natsume went a few yards away. Still in sight, but Tanuma couldn’t hear what he was saying. After a second Tanuma began sweeping again. He was curious, but he didn’t want to be rude and eavesdrop. After a while Natsume returned and Tanuma gave a inquisitive raise of his eyebrows. “Nothing big. They just heard a child talk about a game and they were curious about it.” Tanuma smiled happy that Natsume was telling him.

“Were they pretty?”

Natsume laughed. “What does that matter?” He asked in between chuckles. “But yes, I suppose they’d be considered attractive. Most human shaped yokai are pretty.”

“Jealous. You get to see ethereal beauty every day.” Tanuma chuckled to show that he was joking around. Natsume laughed again and Tanuma had to stop the thought that Natsume was as ethereal to him as the ayakashi.


	5. Speaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it sets up an idea for a future chapter.

Tanuma watched as Natsume struggled with the lecture. The professor was an Ise native and had a fairly thick accent. Natsume had trouble since they moved a few months ago, but he still was struggling. Tanuma on the other hand adjusted well. He had to talk to tourists and natives alike at the shrine. The fact that the head priest at the shrine also had the accent forced him to adapt. Natsume… seemed to not have too many friends yet. Natsume didn’t seem to mind, he never was the type to approach people first unless it came to ayakashi matters. He sighed already planning to hand his notes over to Natsume after class.

“Why does it give you so much trouble?” Tanuma asked later at home.

“I don’t know.” Natsume gave a frustrated sigh. “I’ve even lived here in the south, but the accents my family had weren’t bad.”

Tanuma hummed, “Why don’t you go to karaoke then?”

Natsume blushed in embarrassment. “I don’t really like… karaoke.”

The brunet had a feeling that wasn’t the truth, but since it didn’t seem to relate to his family or ayakashi Tanuma wasn’t going to ask for details. “I think it could help a bit. Besides… um…” He was wary about approaching the subject. “Well, you don’t seem to have any friends… I mean, I’ve never seen you go out with friends and it’s almost the end of the semester. The only one you go out with is me.” Natsume looked downtrodden. “Sorry.”

“No. You’re right. It was easy back home. People made friends with me first.” Natsume pondered for a moment. “I guess I should go out more.”

“Some people I know have invited me a few times. They’re from some other classes or I met them while studying at the library. They’re always welcoming new people so next time let’s go together.” Natsume nodded and the two fell into routine conversations.


	6. Sickness

He had been fighting it off for a week now. Fatigue, dizziness, runny nose, coughing, and a fever. Medicine wasn’t helping, but he didn’t have time to rest. “Thank you so much for coming to pick him up, Natsume-san.” Tanuma raised his head hearing his friend’s voice.

“It’s no problem. I’m sorry he’s troubled you.”

“I’m fine, Aoyama-san.” Tanuma protested.

“You are not fine! You collapsed while sweeping the shrine.” Aoyama huffed. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Tanuma tried to focus his eyes. “Three.” He hear the collective sighs of his friends.

“This is why I couldn’t trust you to walk home alone. I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn.” Aoyama paused. “Anyway, we have a bit of a break so get lots of rest, alright?”

“Yeah.” Tanuma felt himself be picked up. “Sorry for troubling you, Aoyama-san. Thank you for calling Natsume.” They all said their good-byes before he was assisted outside. “Sorry for troubling you too, Natsume.”

“I told you to take it easy. We both know how prone you are to getting sick.” Natsume paused to shift his grip on Tanuma. Having to half carry someone taller than him wasn’t easy. “I know you haven’t been getting as sick as you used too, but when it’s caused by natural causes you can’t fight through it. It makes it worse.”

“Sorry, for worrying you, Natsume.” Tanuma just heard Natsume chuckle before his mind went hazy then blank. The next moment he felt himself being adjusted again. He heard Natsume tell him to lay down so he did. After that he woke up to darkness, the only light from their window. He still felt horrible, but he could tell something wasn’t right. Tanuma looked around, having no strength to sit up. He felt something in one of his hands so he squeezed gently. It was warm and somewhat boney. He glanced down, just barely making out Natsume’s head in the low light. Natsume was asleep or at least it looked like it. Tanuma realized that Natsume was holding his hand just like his father would when he was sick. Natsume remembered him telling him that. As his consciousness faded again he realized that he was on Natsume’s bed and that Natsume was going to be in pain when he woke up.

“Tanuma, wake up. You need to take some medicine.”

“Huh?” Tanuma’s brain was still hazy, but he was being shaken awake.

“Medicine. Can you sit up?” The ravenet slowly attempted and was only able to accomplish the task with the help of the blond. After a few moments Tanuma felt something being placed in his hand. “Here, take it and I have water for you.” On autopilot he put the medicine in his mouth and soon felt a glass on his lips. Taking in some of the water he swallowed down the pills. “Good. You can go back to sleep for now.” That’s just what he did.

When he woke next the sunlight was blaring into his eyes. Tanuma groaned in protest before pulling the blankets over his head. A quiet laugh came as a response. “Don’t laugh.” Tanuma complained before a coughing fit took over him. He heard a few padded footsteps before he felt a presence near him.

“Besides a headache are you feeling any better?”

“I feel like shit.”

“Well, at least you’re admitting it now.” Natsume paused to pulled the covers off of him. Tanuma was about to protest, but he stopped when he felt Natsume’s hand on his head. “Still feverish. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah…” He said breathlessly. Natsume’s hand felt cool on his skin. He didn’t want Natsume to pull away. He did however.

“I’ll make some soup then. Rest and I’ll wake you up when it’s ready.”

Tanuma didn’t feel like sleeping again. He felt nasty. “I think I’d like to wash up a little bit first.” He forced himself up, but took a moment afterward feeling his strength drain. Natsume stayed where he was, patiently waiting to help Tanuma to the bathroom. Tanuma stood up and lost his balance. Natsume caught him and kept him standing while leading him to the bathroom. “Thank you, Natsume. Sorry to trouble you.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Besides, I’ve caused you more trouble than this before. Just like me, you can’t help it.” The ravenet returned the blond’s smile. “Can you get it from here?”

He nodded, “yeah, this place is small enough that I can catch myself if I fall again.” The bathroom was crowded with just one person, much less two.

“Well, try not to fall. I’ll come check on you after a little.” Natsume excused himself.

Now alone Tanuma let out a sigh and slumped against the back of the wall. He had no energy after just a few steps. He really was bad off. Still if he just pushed himself a bit more he could get relatively clean and get some food.

About an hour later Tanuma managed his way out of the bathroom using the wall to help support him. He must have been quiet as when he looked into the kitchen he saw Natsume lost in thought. He seemed troubled. Tanuma could see a recipe card in Natsume’s hand. He found himself just waiting and watching what Natsume did. Golden eyes so focused, eyebrows raised in concern, and lips moving slightly as he silently read to himself. Tanuma wanted -what did want?- he couldn’t think. Finally golden eyes glanced toward him.

“Tanuma! Are you okay?” Natsume quickly came over in a fussy manner.

Cute, Tanuma thought. “I’m sick.” He teased lightly. “Anything I can help with?” He was ignoring his lack of energy, but he felt some need to join in on the domestic situation.

“You’re not helping with anything until you get better. Let me help you to the kotatsu. The soup is almost done.” Natsume huffed stubbornly.

Tanuma could only smile. He allowed Natsume to manipulate him. “Did you add soy sauce? It’s often not written, but it’s used to add flavor. Salt and pepper works too if you want to go a bit more western.”

“Tanuma…” Natsume warned lightly. “You can give me cooking lessons after you get better.” He carefully sat Tanuma down.

“I think I’d like that.” He looked up at the blond who was looking at him incredulously.

“What has gotten into you? I think that cold has affected your mind a bit.” Natsume shook his head and sighed.

“Probably.” Tanuma agreed. He didn’t feel like himself at all. “But it’s fine, right? Anything else weird I’ll say you can just blame it on the cold and I’ll think it’s just a dream.”

“You should save your energy, Tanuma.” Natsume advised running away back to the kitchen.

Tanuma laid his head on the table. It was cool against his feverish skin. He hummed in approval. “Natsume… Do you realize how beautiful you are?” The only reply was the clattering of a dropped spoon. “All the people in class look at you when we enter. The women especially. They’re always glancing at you shyly. When one gets the courage to talk to you they won’t stop flirting. Sasada was the same way. She really likes you, but you already knew that. Still, even now… Arasara-senpai… Furukawa-senpai… they both ask questions about you. What it’s like to live with you. What you like. Anything.” Tanuma heaved a loud sigh. “You should go out with someone--”

“Tanuma, be quiet.” Tanuma looked up and his breath caught in his chest. Natsume was glaring at him. Natsume rarely got angry at him, but he was, and he was very angry. He had never seen such hatred directed at him by his best friend. “It’s my business who and when I date someone. Not yours.”

“S-sorry.” He whimpered. “I just… worry about you not finding someone.”

Natsume sighed. He opened his mouth to speak, but only closed it after another sigh. Again, he retreated to the kitchen.

 

Later, Tanuma thought the soup tasted a bit bitter as he regretted his manipulation of Natsume. Thankfully he didn’t remember his exact words when he woke up the next day and Natsume didn’t bring it up. There were no more events as Tanuma got better. He was just grateful that Natsume took care of him so well and apologetic for being a burden.


	7. Study

Tanuma jumped, being startled awake by Natsume’s head falling to the table. “Kill me now. This is torture.” The blond groaned.

“It’s only midnight.”

“Says the one that was asleep sitting up.”

Tanuma chuckled sheepishly. Finals were in the next week and they were trying to cram in every bit of information they could in. “I’ll fix up some tea and maybe that’ll help us. Why don’t you take a break in the meantime too?” As he got up he didn’t need to see or hear Natsume to know that he agreed to the offer.

Making the tea didn’t take too long and he set Natsume’s cup in front of him. A peaceful silence fell between them as they both sipped their tea. Brown eyes looked at the mess of their dorm. Papers were strewn about along with their textbooks and an occasional empty snack bag. The dorm itself wasn’t very quiet. The sound of someone a few doors away having their music up loud. Nearly everyone was up studying and those that weren’t was sleeping or relaxing in their own ways. It was so much more different than home. The city was so much louder than the country.

“What’s that content face for?” Tanuma looked at Natsume who had obviously been observing him. He looked unusually happy.

“Just… thinking about how different this place is from home. There’s so many noises.”

“Yeah, I noticed you had trouble sleeping when we first moved in.”

“I’ve almost always lived at a shrine and well…” He trailed off letting his silence speak for him. It was quiet near shrines. Natsume hummed in reply. “Do you miss home?”

“Of course. It’s… the only place I’ve ever really considered home.” Natsume’s smile wasn’t tainted with the thoughts of his other homes. “I miss everyone. The smells in the air. The clean air. Crickets in the summer. Stars bright at night. Sitting on the roof looking at them. I--What?”

Tanuma shook his head. “Nothing really. It was sorta like poetry.” The blond got embarrassed. “Natsume? You’re going to write the ayakashi’s stories aren’t you?” He hadn’t brought it up since his realization.

“Yeah. There’s so little people that believe in them anymore… so many are gone. I can’t help them stay, but I at least want people to know their stories now. People… like you… would be interested in learning about their good sides.” Natsume had shyly glanced at him when he spoke. It choked him up a little. He hadn’t imagined he’d be any sort of influence on Natsume.

A few seconds passed. “I can imagine it’ll be hard.”

“I’ll probably be called crazy and a complete failure at historical literature. Probably be shunned too.” Tanuma wasn’t sure if he liked that Natsume laughed or not. “Even still… it’s something I want to do.” He could see the determination in those golden eyes.

“Well, I’ll always support you, but first things first. We have to study for our first exams.” Natsume made a groan in protest which cause Tanuma to laugh. The two then studied until even tea could not keep them awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate finals week.


	8. Karaoke

Tanuma laughed at his friend’s joke while the sound of one of his other friends singing filled the small room.  It was post-exam karaoke with his three friends, two of their friends, and Natsume.  Natsume seemed to be getting along, but he was all too familiar with the fake smiles the blond had plastered on his face.  He wished Natsume would relax a little bit, however, he knew Natsume.  Natsume would never completely relax meeting people for the first time.

 

“Okay Takashi-san!  You’re turn!”  One of the girls whom Tanuma had just met tonight cheered.  She had red hair which matched her name, Akane.  She was the only one who insisted on calling Natsume by his first name.  Tanuma didn’t really like her, she kept clinging onto Natsume.  It made him jealous and was the one downer of the night.

 

“Oh, no.  It’s fine.  I don’t really sing.”  Natsume didn’t seem to like the girl either.  Tanuma wished he could help his friend, but he was interested in hearing Natsume sing too.

 

“Come on, Natsume.”  Tanuma urged.  “Even I’ve never heard you sing.”

 

“It’s not like you have to sing well either.”  Aoyama offered.  “It’s to get rid of stress.”

 

Tanuma could see that Natsume was uncomfortable, but he relented and got up to chose and sing his song.  When Natsume began to sing everyone in the room went silent, giving Natsume their full attention.  Tanuma was no exception.  As soon as he heard Natsume sing he knew he was in trouble.  Natsume had such a beautiful singing voice, and he was enraptured in it.  Tanuma was in shock as everyone began to clap and cheer for Natsume.  Natsume smiled at the praise, an actual smile.  As Aoyama got up for his turn Tanume had to quickly compose himself.

 

“Yet, another talent I didn’t know you had.”  Tanuma teased when Natsume sat beside him.

 

“It’s nothing special.”

 

Before he could say anything Akane spoke up.  “Of course it is!  You have an amazing voice, Takashi-san.  You should become a singer.  I’d buy all of your albums.”

 

Tanuma really didn’t like this woman.  She was much too forward, not like the woman who had also been flirting with him all night.  Michiko asked simple questions trying to seem casual, but her accidental touches were anything but accidental and lingered.  Despite his own lack of social interactions Tanuma knew what was going on and knew that this woman was experienced.  Still, he recognized that he was inexperienced compared to most of his classmates as he never dated in high school.  Michiko was an attractive woman too.

 

“You look a bit drained, Tanuma-san.  Want to get some fresh air outside with me?”  From his peripherals Tanuma could see Natsume look over.  It pulled at his heart, but he forced it away.  Even if he liked Natsume in a romantic way he knew his chances.  He was jealous that Akane could freely flirt and hang on the blonde.  He needed to get over these feelings.  Natsume was his best friend and he couldn’t risk it.

 

“Sure.  I’d like the company.”  He knew what he was doing.  He knew he’d regret it deep down, but he needed to do this.  As he stood up he glanced over to Natsume and saw the concerned expression on his friend’s face.  Was Natsume concerned for him?  Tanuma forced a smile before following Michiko outside of the karaoke office and building.

 

“Your friends thought you were too inexperienced to understand me.  Apparently they’ve tried before?”  She started leading him to a nearby alley.

 

“I am inexperienced, but I’m not dumb.”  Tanuma knew his friends often invited girls to try to get him to hook up with someone. 

 

Michiko laughed lightly, “honest man.  How nice.  So why’d you decide to come out here with me?”

 

Tanuma hesitated.  He honestly wasn’t interested in her and she probably knew that.  That’s why she had asked the question.  “Stress relief?”  He reasoned.

 

She laughed again.  “There’s the lying I’m used to.”  Tanuma didn’t protest knowing he was a bad liar.  “Well, if you’re willing I can at least teach you a few things.”  He didn’t step back when she got closer nor when she laced her fingers behind his neck.  She did seem to hesitate as if giving him a chance to back out of what was coming next.  Tanuma ignored panicked thoughts and leaned down to meet her rising lips.  His heart raced while his stomach dropped.  It felt like that time at Onibashira mansion, just without the fear of losing Natsume.  He felt disgusted as he felt her tongue run across his lips and he allowed her entrance.  He tried to play along, but eventually had to pull away from her.  “No good?”  She asked giving him space.  She didn’t seem insulted so Tanuma took the blessing in that.

 

“Seems you’re not my type.”  Tanuma shrugged trying to sound casual.  “Shall we go back to the others?”

 

She nodded.  “Yep, no use trying to force you to be straight.”

 

Tanuma paused.  “I’m not gay.”

 

“Then bi or whatever.  Doesn’t matter to me and I don’t think your friends would mind either.  I mean they are sorta my friends too after all.  They won’t care.  But I won’t push you out of the closet either.”

 

Tanuma remained silent.  It seemed it was obvious when he wasn’t opening up to others.  Perhaps, like he often told Natsume, he should rely on others a bit too.  It was just hard coming to terms with his feelings despite having them for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have about 3 more chapter ideas then I'm probably going to declare this completed.


End file.
